On May 23rd, I wrote about joining a boot camp called LDB- Little Black Dress put on by Jake Glaze. I expected to maintain enough stamina to finish the six weeks and get a jump start on working out with my never-ending supply of work out videos at home. I expected to commit to 6 weeks of getting up at 4:30am to get to the park at 5:30am. I expected to be an outsider to a bunch of amazon women who had rock hard abs and would look at me in disdain for what my lack of discipline has done to my body. I expected that I would survive. I did not expect….to thrive.
I have not weighed in yet this week or had my final measurements taken. Oddly enough, that’s not much of a concern for me. We have had huge victories in the group. One woman lost 16 pound of fat and gained two pounds of muscle – Go Berni! We have had women get into clothes that they have kept in the back of the closet for years – Go Becky! At last count, I had lost five pounds of fat and gained one pound of muscle. What I gained more…was a bit of self-acceptance. My husband once told me that if I ever disappeared, he would have to enlist in a police sketch artist since he has very few current pics of me. I’m OK with that – I look better in two dimensional art.
So…this is the end, and the beginning. I am enlisting in Jake’s help along with about 25 female “boot-campers” to keep me on the straight and narrow. While maybe it’s not the road to salvation, it is the road to avoiding heart attacks and strokes – all which will provide God much more time to work on my stubborn and obstinate heart. I need that. He knows. So do I. If you have any doubts, click here.
So what did I learn from the past six weeks? I had to look at the past four entries to do a composite.
- If you harass a man enough about his time keeping skills, he will hand you his phone….once…and only to show you that you can’t keep time yourself. You will then politely just guess at the half time since you don’t want to reveal again that you cannot count backwards.
- You can do anything for 40 seconds and most things for 60 seconds. Except TRX-pullups. They have their own rules. You can also use this piece of equipment in so many ways, that you will feel like an idiot each time you learn a new exercise. More than once, I had to have someone physically put me in the right position…only to say…”Oh…under my ARMS! I thought when you said arms, you were actually talking about my …hmmm …..neck.
- Time goes faster when you close your eyes. Just don’t try that when you’re running – some people don’t pick up after their dogs.
- If someone unrelated to the camp goes down in the park, and as a nurse, you don’t feel comfortable leaving them down on the ground, you can trust Jake to come help you pick him up. Actually, he will just pick them up himself while you stand by helpless until he says…”maybe you could give him his walker. You know…since me holding him indefinitely is not really part of the plan.”
- I did not die from doing planks. I now do them every day. I’m at sixty seconds with the plan of adding 30 seconds this week. If I don’t show up to the next boot camp, I was wrong. I did die.
- If you lift weights daily, eventually your five pound weights will feel like baby weights. You will keep bringing them however, because the ten pound weights scare the heck out of you.
- Wall sits can be done a variety of ways – with a medicine ball between your legs while lifting a kettle bell above your head. You will not drop either…because while all of the women are completely encouraging, you will be continually reminded that some can continue to carry on conversations while doing this exercise – and you don’t want to interrupt a good story by dropping a heavy object on your head.
- I thought that some medicine balls were just more bouncy than others. Not true…some women are just more bouncy than others…and stronger…so…much…stronger.
- You can find a wealth of exercises on Pinterest. You will most likely spend about 60 minutes of research for every 2 minutes of actual exercise. Kind of like me with exercise videos – great to watch while commenting – “Wow…how do they do that?” This is all done, obviously, while sitting on the couch.
- If you start moving your arms…your feet WILL follow!
- If it hurts, you are probably doing it right. If the only thing that hurts is your mouth…Jake has expressed that he apologizes…that he did not provide harder exercises….something he can change for tomorrow.
- A fitbit does make you work harder. I love the party on my arm when I hit 10,000 steps. Next week, I will test Rebecca’s theory that it will make me appreciate running because of the calorie difference. I still wheeze and am sooooooooo slow. Ladies – continue to tell me “you can do it…keep running”…or in one case – put your hand on my back and say “come-on, sister”. No offense ever taken and I need to push harder. You are all my heroes.
- You will have good days and bad days. Part of the victory is just getting out of bed. Nothing changes when you stay in bed. Except maybe your fat content. And your butt….it definitely gets bigger. I can attest to that after the last two years. This is my motivating picture to get on track. I would like to be image number two. Number one looks uncomfortable and very constipated.
- If you really want to work-out, and are not good at motivating yourself, I’m a firm believer that we all work harder when someone is yelling at us…in a supportive and encouraging manner. It’s a hard mix to find. I stumbled on it. If you want to join, hit up Jake at https://glazefitness.com/. You can come as you are…I’m sans make-up and any reasonable hair style. There is no one to impress. Only you…and a bunch of women doing the same thing.
- Week one….can you find me? Please don’t let my husband use this picture if I ever disappear. Direct him to the sketch artist instead!
- Happy 4th of July!