Week one of the Boot camp down. I have survived. Five more to go…or should I say…52 weeks a year after that. I’m hooked! I’m hooked in a…man that hurts…when is it going to stop?…has anyone ever dropped that on their head?…kind of way. I have been up at 4:30am all week and out the door by 5:10am. I believe I can cut that to up at 4:58am and out the door by 5:10am next week. No one cares what I look like. It’s a bit empowering.
Now…I have been “hooked” on things before. So I feel the need treat myself like I do my students. Why were you unsuccessful in the class? What will you change when you come back? Exactly how do you expect to become a nurse when you don’t put the work in?
Why have I been unsuccessful in the past? Because I wanted quick results and a quick fix. If I start on Monday as a size 14, I want to be a size 10 by Wednesday and a size 6 by Friday. Apparently this is not a SMART goal.
While it is Specific, Measurable, Relevant and Time Orientated, it lacks in the Achievable Category. So let’s hit two questions with one shot – I will be more realistic in my goals and expectations. My new goal? To be able to make it up the stairs without hyperventilating.
How do I expect to become fit without putting the work in? I don’t…anymore. I am working out with women that have been in boot camp for years. One is 72. She is truly amazing. She can out-plank, out-run, out-lift and out-lunge me. Probably with her eyes closed…while doing it all on one leg…and without breathing hard. Very cool. And very inspiring. I want to be her. Not in 20 years…I want to be her now.
Some things I’ve learned this week:
- Running becomes easier each day. It will, however, continue to be the bane of your existence.
- Seeing pictures of the workout taught me the following –
- My backside is not attractive while doing skaters…or most likely anything else.
- Battle ropes should look like attacking cobras…not like dead gopher snakes that appeared to be in my hands. I’m going to become a much better runner if I see Jake with a camera again.
- Never trust a man that says “I’m timing you while you do wall sits” when he is across the park handing out workout assignments. Set your watch.
- Ten pound kettle bells double in weight when being thrust over your head while doing wall sits. I have been assured that no one has ever dropped them on their head. Feet, apparently, are fair game.
- Rain is no reason to pick up your mat and leave – at least according to Jake…However, when you do pick up your mat, remember that it will be the equivalent of a 5′ by 2′ sponge.
- Toilets are unreasonably low to the floor. After working out this way for two days, you will actually consider urinating standing up – regardless of your gender. If you don’t take that option, you will need to plan an additional five minutes to lower yourself into a sitting position.
- After working out your arms, you will suddenly feel compassion for the T-Rex since you will be unable to fully extend your elbows. You will become extremely creative in finding ways to keep everything within five inches of your trunk.
- When someone tells you to get a body scan, be prepared to discover that you are mostly fat…with a little bit of bone for structural support. It’s on paper. I’m Jabba the Hutt.
- No one ever died from doing planks..
- I’m not sure if I completely believe this.
Today is the first day that I am not sore from my neck down. I have muscles in places that I didn’t know existed.
So thank you to Jake and the amazing women that I was able to work out with this week. The comradery is very different from what I have experienced in any traditional gym. Women that are size 0 and double lapping me are still friendly, encouraging and saying “good job” to the newbies. One of my fellow nurses signed up with me – Brenda and I have both been red-faced and grunting through the work-outs only to be spurred on by someone next to us. Females at their finest. I’m proud to be one in this group.
No regular workout for the next two days. Jake is leading a group on a hike. I have a hike with some friends at the same time. I’m thinking of hitting Cowles on Sunday just to prove to myself that I can. I’ve been up many times before but not since my weight gain. Let me know if you’d like to go. Bring a nebulizer. And a phone. I may need someone to call Life Flight!