Round two…and still running

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I just finished my second round of boot camp.  10 weeks in – 16 pounds down.  My favorite moment so far was at work – having a younger woman tell me that she was admiring my arms.  Having anyone admire your arms when you’re over 50 is a confidence booster.  She started with “I don’t want you to think I’m weird or anything…”.    My response?   “No judgement …and how does my butt look?”

We learned a new exercise last week.  Single leg hip lifts with a twist – hold you weight on your hip while you lift.  It all went well until my abdomen starting eating the weights.  There is obviously some work still to do there!  I was fortunately able to dig them out before we started the next exercise.

And yet another exercise with the TRX – Hip drops.  Hold the handle on your head – while you face sideways.   The inside leg in front – now drop your hip.  You can guess how that went for me….grab the strap…no…only one… put your hand this way..no…the other way…now put it on your head – no…not like that…on your head…you only have one head…put it there….now drop your hip.   I’m assuming that Jake is medicated with some calming agent before he teaches me a new exercise.   Either that, or he highly medicates when he goes home.

Someone asked me the other day how the running was going.  I still sound like a dying asthmatic when I run, but no one seems to mind.  I’m still painfully slow.  Occasionally, the ball of my right foot gets inflamed and a bit painful.  I still don’t love it.  What I do love?  The results.    I’ll keep running now because stopping is downright frightening.  I know how I feel when I exercise and I know how I feel when I don’t.  I’ll keep exercising.  It feels better.13754255_10210114519009137_7002428098177607371_n

My other favorite thing right now?  I’m not in a race.  As long as I’m feeling good and slowly heading in the right direction, I’m ecstatic.  If I make a bad food choice one day, I move on the next.  No more flogging myself…no more setting dates or events that I’m losing weight for…no more feeling like a failure if I can’t fit into something.  I’ll get there – wherever there is.  I’m 30 pounds heavier than my wedding weight.  I’m OK with that right now.  10 weeks ago, I was 46 pounds heavier than my wedding weight….and that was closer to 50 pounds heavier than I ever want to be again.

I still love the comradery.  I still love that it’s not a competition unless you want it to be.  I still love that even the incredibly fit women will still comment that it’s hard some days.   I love that I see women of all ages working out, talking about their lives and encouraging each other with “wow…you look great!”.   It is very different from any experience that I’ve had in a traditional gym where I was surrounded by very fit naked women in the locker room.  It’s bad enough comparing your body to other women in yoga pants.  Take the clothes away and you can really start to question your attractiveness as a woman!  Fortunately, my husband’s vision is much like mine – in soft focus.  It covers up a wealth of stretch marks!

So….I have a standing date with 20 women and one guy every morning at 5:30 am.  Even on mornings when it’s hard to get up, I still push myself out the door.  If I have to be at work early, then I leave early, but I still go.  It feels foreign to not have at least one body part feel tight and sore.  If I start to falter, please take me back to this post: Disco Anyone?  It is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow!

Have a great week, everyone!

 

I Don’t Know How That Happened!

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My youngest son is a nurse.  This fact brings me a great deal of pride…not only because I feel that he is following in my footsteps but also because I feel that I somehow knew that this would happen at some point.  That point came after we refurbished our bathroom.  Why we felt the need to do this is yet another story that involves raising boys…and why you should never leave them unattended for the weekend.  As you can see – I have years of writing material.  But back to the bathroom…

We were very happy with our new bathroom.  It had a beautiful pedestal sink…a deep soaking tub…and a beautiful sliding shower door that was a welcome replacement to our musty shower curtain.  I know that shower curtains can be washed…or better yet…replaced.  We just never seemed to get around to that.  I was ecstatic to behold the clear safety glass that would keep the water contained and off our new tile.   I believe I was able to “behold” this for all of two weeks.  This was before some sort of act of God..nature…or another frontal lobe faux pas.

I was at work when I received the call from Matt.  “Mom – the shower door broke..!”  My heart took a leap…or it may have been more my stomach.  Are you kidding?  Already?  I hoped that it was something small – like those little pit marks that you can get filled in your car windshield.  How I though a random rock would have hit the door…I don’t know.  “Hmmm….what do you mean…It broke?”  And of course – the answer comes.  “It fell off the track and burst into a thousand pieces.”  “Where were you when this happened?”  “In the shower” was the reply that made me think….hmmm…this could be bad.  I don’t know about you…but I typically shower without clothes.  Matt was describing a situation in which a thousand pieces of safety glass had just fallen on him…while he was unclothed and in a slippery, wet shower.  At that point, I decided focusing on the  fact that we just replaced that door would not win me any mother of the year award.

“Are you hurt?” thinking that if anything had been dismembered, he would probably not be so calm…I hoped.  He has a pretty high pain tolerance.  This was proven when the MD could not get him numb prior to stitching a gash on his leg…that he received 2 hours prior to my mother’s memorial service…by hitting a parked car on his bike.  Again…another story.

He responded, “I’m a little cut up but I’m ok.  I have to go to basketball practice.  I just didn’t want you to see it before I got home.  I don’t have time to clean it up.”  I assured him that I would clean up, naively assuming that it was a bunch of glass with some superficial blood drops.   I set off for home to ensure that I got there before a few of my family members.  Some of my gang do not do blood well.

I walked in the house and was not prepared for what I saw.  Blood…EVERYWHERE!  Bloody handprints on the hallway walls.  Bloody footprints on the hallway tile.  Blood on the thousand shards of safety glass.  OH MY LORD!  This was “a little cut up?”  Did he lose an appendage?  I started to look for one.  I mean – he could text with one hand.  Did something else get cut off and he didn’t want to tell mThe Shining 2e that he would not be providing any grandchildren?  There was blood throughout the house…even on the box of bandages!  And there were bandaid wrappers strewn on the floor.  I started to picture how he had wrapped an arterial bleed in a Curad.

At this point, I decided that it would be best to go to his Basketball practice and take him to the hospital.  How much blood can a person lose before they pass out?  Did he get to basketball practice?  Will I find him on the side of the road?  Did he even have his license with him?  Is he now a John Doe?  It’s amazing how your thoughts can go from sane to apocalyptic chaos in a matter of minutes.  I pulled up to the school and bolted into the gym.

He was there…running sprints…with about 30 bandages on him.  Not passed out…nothing apparently…missing.  He was fine.  Numerous cuts…but all superficial.  Turns out – he’s quite the bleeder.  He will never have a stroke since apparently…his blood does not clot.  I pulled him off and examined him just to make sure that nothing required stitches.  Nope…nothing.  Now I was able to focus again on the door.

“Ok…tell me the truth.  How did this happen?”  His reply?  “I don’t know how it happened.  It just…sort of…fell off.”   For no reason…it fell off.  Sound fishy to you?  I delved deeper.  “Did you slam it?”  “No Mom…honest….I don’t know how it happened.  It just fell.”  Now typically, I get the truth about ten years after the fact.  This one is about due.  I’m looking forward to hearing about it.

We never did replace the door.  We just brought back the shower curtain…a new one.  Not the musty one.  Although…I haven’t checked in a while.  We still have half a glass door.  Apparently, whatever “act of God” knocked the first one off has never been repeated.  I leave it there as a reminder that God protects fools and children…and has special care for those that are both!

 

 

 

 

 

Week six…Stamina, Strength, and….still Wheezing

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On May 23rd, I wrote about joining a boot camp called LDB- Little Black Dress put on by Jake Glaze.   I expected to maintain enough stamina to finish the six weeks and get a jump start on working out with my never-ending supply of work out videos at home.  I expected to commit to 6 weeks of getting up at 4:30am to get to the park at 5:30am.  I expected to be an outsider to a bunch of amazon women who had rock hard abs and would look at me in disdain for what my lack of discipline has done to my body.  I expected that I would survive.  I did not expect….to thrive.

Week 6

 

 

 

 

 

I have not weighed in yet this week or had my final measurements taken.  Oddly enough, that’s not much of a concern for me.  We have had huge victories in the group.  One woman lost 16 pound of fat and gained two pounds of muscle – Go Berni!  We have had women get into clothes that they have kept in the back of the closet for years – Go Becky! At last count, I had lost five pounds of fat and gained one pound of muscle. What I gained more…was a bit of self-acceptance.  My husband once told me that if I ever disappeared, he would have to enlist in a police sketch artist since he has very few current pics of me. I’m OK with that – I look better in two dimensional art.

So…this is the end, and the beginning.  I am enlisting in Jake’s help along with about 25 female “boot-campers” to keep me on the straight and narrow.  While maybe it’s not the road to salvation, it is the road to avoiding heart attacks and strokes – all which will provide God much more time to work on my stubborn and obstinate heart.  I need that.  He knows.  So do I.  If you have any doubts, click here.

So what did I learn from the past six weeks?  I had to look at the past four entries to do a composite.

  • If you harass a man enough about his time keeping skills, he will hand you his phone….once…and only to show you that you can’t keep time yourself.  You will then politely just guess at the half time since you don’t want to reveal again that you cannot count backwards.
  • You can do anything for 40 seconds and most things for 60 seconds.  Except TRX-pullups.  They have their own rules.  You can also use this piece of equipment in so many ways, that you will feel like an idiot each time you learn a new exercise.  More than once, I had to have someone physically put me in the right position…only to say…”Oh…under my ARMS!   I thought when you said arms, you were actually talking about my …hmmm …..neck.
  • Time goes faster when you close your eyes.  Just don’t try that when you’re running – some people don’t pick up after their dogs.
  • If someone unrelated to the camp goes down in the park, and as a nurse, you don’t feel comfortable leaving them down on the ground, you can trust Jake to come help you pick him up.  Actually, he will just pick them up himself while you stand by helpless until he says…”maybe you could give him his walker.  You know…since me holding him indefinitely is not really part of the plan.”
  • I did not die from doing planks.  I now do them every day.  I’m at sixty seconds with the plan of adding 30 seconds this week.  If I don’t show up to the next boot camp, I was wrong.  I did die.
  • If you lift weights daily, eventually your five pound weights will feel like baby weights.  You will keep bringing them however, because the ten pound weights scare the heck out of you.
  • Wall sits can be done a variety of ways – with a medicine ball between your legs while lifting a kettle bell above your head. You will not drop either…because while all of the women are completely encouraging, you will be continually reminded that some can continue to carry on conversations while doing this exercise – and you don’t want to interrupt a good story by dropping a heavy object on your head.
  • I thought that some medicine balls were just more bouncy than others.  Not true…some women are just more bouncy than others…and stronger…so…much…stronger.
  • You can find a wealth of exercises on Pinterest.  You will most likely spend about 60 minutes of research for every 2 minutes of actual exercise.  Kind of like me with exercise videos – great to watch while commenting – “Wow…how do they do that?”  This is all done, obviously, while sitting on the couch.
  • If you start moving your arms…your feet WILL follow!
  • If it hurts, you are probably doing it right.  If the only thing that hurts is your mouth…Jake has expressed that he apologizes…that he did not provide harder exercises….something he can change for tomorrow.
  • A fitbit does make you work harder.  I love the party on my arm when I hit 10,000 steps.  Next week, I will test Rebecca’s theory that it will make me appreciate running because of the calorie difference.  I still wheeze and am sooooooooo slow.  Ladies – continue to tell me “you can do it…keep running”…or in one case – put your hand on my back and say “come-on, sister”.   No offense ever taken and I need to push harder.  You are all my heroes.
  • You will have good days and bad days.  Part of the victory is just getting out of bed. Nothing changes when you stay ineffects of weight bed. Except maybe your fat content.  And your butt….it definitely gets bigger.  I can attest to that after the last two years.   This is my motivating picture to get on track.  I would like to be image number two.  Number one looks uncomfortable and very constipated.
  • If you really want to work-out, and are not good at motivating yourself, I’m a firm believer that we all work harder when someone is yelling at us…in a supportive and encouraging manner.  It’s a hard mix to find.  I stumbled on it.  If you want to join, hit up Jake at https://glazefitness.com/.  You can come as you are…I’m sans make-up and any reasonable hair style. There is no one to impress.  Only you…and a bunch of women doing the same thing.
  • Week one….can you find me?  Please don’t let my husband use this picture if I ever disappear.  Direct him to the sketch artist instead!13268441_10209642242642523_7283277549033932092_o
  • Happy 4th of July!

Week Five and Feeling Fit

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First, I have to apologize for skipping week Four.  It was not because I was so sore that my fingers wouldn’t work (although sitting has been issue at different points!)  My beloved father decided to have play time with our beloved dog.  It was a great time…until Dad’s hand ended up in Dexter’s mouth.  Let me stress, this was not a dog bite.  Dexter looked just as surprised as my Dad as if to say “Dude…get your hand out of my mouth…dogs get shot for that!”

Dad ended up with a 2 cm gash in his hand.  Again…not a bite.  No corresponding teeth marks – more like a dog scrape.  Can you sense my paranoia?  I love the dog.  I love my father.  I would like to keep them both for another ten years.  From this gash, Dad ended up with cellulitis moving up his arm.   Please also don’t judge my nursing skills.  He left two days after the “incident” and went to Valencia to visit my cousins. Thankfully, my cousin convinced him to go the Urgent Care.  He had dinner plans…it took quite a bit to convince him that choosing between dinner and keeping a limb shouldn’t require this level of persuasion.  He ended up in the hospital for two days. Thus…my distraction from my writing.  He is doing well and the dog keeps his distance.

So…the last two weeks have been eventful.  I am no longer sore everywhere.  Just sore in whatever muscles Jake happens to target each day.  I’ve given up on some areas.  Sore is the new norm.  But it’s a good sore.  Kind of like…It’s hot…but it’s a dry heat.  (Although I always thought…seriously…does it being dry really make it better?).

I also have accepted running.  If I have to leave early to teach, I will run as my last station.  It makes merhino vs hippo feel less wimpy.  I’m still asthmatic and slow, but with the increase muscle mass, I feel more like a rhino running than a hippo.  I ordered a fitbit.  Rebecca has assured me that I will love running after I see the difference on the days that we don’t run.  I trust her.  She can throw a medicine ball hard enough to make it bounce.  I tried it.  It’s like a super power.

If you read my previous posts, you also know about the baby ‘possum. While OppossumJake does not recognize small furry creatures of any sort as being used as an excuse to stop moving, I thought I’d let you make your own decision.  Our ‘possum posed for a pic.  Be assured that I ran all the way to my bag and back twice to get this.  If anything, he influenced me to move faster.  The possum..not Jake.

Jake doesn’t need to be a small, furry tree dweller to get us moving faster.  He does it through his daily “Jakeisms”.  Some of my recent favorites:

“I thought it was Turbo Tuesday but I guess it is Talking Tuesday”

“Start moving your arms…maybe your feet will follow!”

“Build a better Booty…”

and when asked…Has the TRX ever broken?  “I have a story for that  but I’ll tell you after you get done”.

Some of my favorites from the women..

While battling yet another bug…”Kelly puts off Pheromones!”

“Hey – look – you hated running and your in the first group now!” (This was obviously because I started the warm up five minutes early but I loved the encouragement!)

I need to take a recorder with me…I spend half of the time laughing at something only to have my dementia take over when I start to write!

What I can tell you is…I’m hooked.  I love the feeling that I’m getting healthier.  I love the fact that even when I’m working late, I still feel motivated to drag my half-awake butt out of bed to drive to the park.  I’ve missed one day in the past five weeks.   My insomnia was killing me…I had to choose between being awake for boot camp or calling in sick to work.  I’ve called in sick about five times in my entire life.  I don’t go down easy.

I still enjoy all the women.  We have several doing the Gladiator Rock’n’Run today.  Again…super heroes.  I was hoping to go watch but we ended up with other plans this morning.  I did the ROC race at one point…it’s like Gladiator meets Toon Town – not even close to the same thing.

The women continue to encourage each other at 5:30am.  That in itself is pretty amazing.  I never feel judged with my slow, asthmatic running or the fact that I typically have to be shown how to do a new exercise.  We’ve established that I can’t figure out how to put something under my arms, so something like “lay on your back with one knee bent and one leg extended.  Hold a weight over your head.  Pull your leg and bring the weight up while you crunch” is pretty much like German to me.  It seemed like a pretty easy exercise until Jake came and pointed out that I was skipping the “crunch”.  OH…..Ok….now it hurts.  I must be doing it right then!

Thank you ladies that assured me that I did actually have the kettle bell in the correct hand on Friday while we were doing one legged dead lifts.  “Which leg?”  “What arm?”  “Is this right?”  “Wait…let me turn in the direction you are…are you sure?”  I’m sure it strikes fear into some hearts that I am teaching future nurses if I can’t tell my left from my right.  Fortunately, when passing meds, the mouth is dead center.

One more week to go.  Well…and then the rest of the year.  I stopped coming before.  Coming back was torture.  I’m motivated to stick with it purely to avoid having the pain of re-starting again.  I’ll let you know how next week goes.  I will miss our Little Black Dress celebration as I’ll be in a conference but I will look forward to seeing pics of everyone else.  I’m not quite dress ready yet, anyway.  I need to lose 30 pounds to get into Little black dressmy black dress…Here is a pic of it.  I’ll get there…slow and steady…and never looking back.

 

 

 

 

Week 3 -Muscling through the Midpoint

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Week 3 – I’m halfway through the Little Black Dress Challenge.  Three weeks down…three weeks to go.  I didn’t weigh in this week yet so no news to report there.  I do feel better and while I still feel asthmatic and panty while I run, I do have a newfound respect for what my body can do.  I CAN do a wall sit with a weight between my legs for 40 seconds – and I even got to hold the timer this go around since Jake has felt my lack of trust in his timekeeping skills!  What I cannot do, apparently, is count down from five seconds..just as  Zoolander can only turn left, I can only count up.  5…6…7…crap..that’s not right…TIME!

This could be tied to my inability to listen to directions when dealing with the TRX.  Put the straps under your arms..no…under your arms…see where your arms are?  Go under…Hmmmm…let me show you.   What can I say….I’m a visual learner.

I have also been surprised at how many random thoughts hit my head while I’m exercising.  While doing overhead slams with the medicine ball, I was oddly struck with 16b80ff37a0314dd789d4c862709fa21how similar the medicine ball is with Wilson the volleyball from Castaway.  Throw Wilson down…pick Wilson up…throw Wilson down…pick Wilson up…At least I didn’t have to watch Wilson wash away to sea…Nope, he was right there waiting for me each go around – ready to be lifted and slammed again…I think Wilson must have been smarter.

I did have some trouble with my back this week after picking up a box of books from work.  Oddly enough, I can thrust a variety of weights over my head at a park, and can protect my lower back, but when I’m faced with a box of books, all sense and reason goes out the window.  I am also unable to get out of bed, apparently.  After adapting a few exercises and still working out all week without complicating my injury, I further irritated my back yesterday by…sitting up in bed.  It’s true.  I can lift weights but cannot sit…it is an advanced skill.

Realizing that part  of the fun in Boot Camp is listening to everyone’s moans, groans and comments, I felt the need to add in some of the direction and inspiration we’ve been giving this week –

  • Nothing changes when you stay in bed.  Things only change when you get OUT of bed!
  • There are soooo many ways to do wall sits!
  • Hey…Wildlife ladies…it’s just a squirrel – get back to work.  Oh it’s a possum?  That changes everything…not.
  • Go…start…begin…what do you ladies understand at 6am?
  • There are those that can do…those that can’t do…and those that are questionable.  And none of you are in the last two categories!  AT LEAST  TRY THEM!
  • Remember when you said you wanted to work out your core?
  • No pressure but someone is waiting for those…
  • Please feel free to run ALL the way to your mat…
  • and my personal favorite in response to an Audible “Oh God” when he announced our doing  burpees…”Who took the Lord’s name in vain?”

Life is good.  I’m feeling less stressed and stronger.  Little black dress or Big black dress…I’m glad I got out of bed this week!

Week Two and still breathing…

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Week two is down.  I weighed in today.  I have lost four pounds – none of which were muscle.  I’ll take it!  I won’t look at what I didn’t do or what I wanted to see or what I could have done to make it more.  I will celebrate the four pounds and think at this rate, I could be down 10-12 pounds at the end of the six weeks.  After hefting a ten pound kettle bell or 405292_10150719302832519_17617965_nmedicine ball for the past two weeks, I have a new understanding of what ten pounds feels like and when it’s being lifted over your head, it’s pretty stinking heavy!  Four kettle bells and I’ll be at my marriage weight.  Not stick thin, obviously, but not a weight that I’m uncomfortable with.  This would be me in 2001 – fifteen years and oh…so many pounds ago!

I also walked up the stairs today…and did not get winded.  Victory is mine!  I have conquered a flight of stairs!  (If you have ever been overweight…you know what I’m saying.   For those that have exercised their whole life…the only thing I can equate it to is your first marathon.)

I read a post from my niece this week – she is a personal trainer in Arizona.  She had several years of trying to get pregnant and the last few months on bed-rest.  It was a tough pregnancy and a tough recovery.  She is now trying to get her baby weight off from her two year old twins.  Me too…from my three boys in their twenties.  Don’t judge.  It takes some of us longer than others.  On a side note, it was supposed to be difficult for me to conceive also. Difficult in my case must be code for “if a man looks at you twice, you will bear child”.

The big question…do I still love the work out?  Yes…absolutely…in a dear God…40 seconds is forever…we’re running again?….my body doesn’t bend that way!…kind of way.  It’s good.  I feel accomplished afterward.  I feel encouraged during the workout albeit still out of breath and praying several times for 6:30 to come!  My highlight this week?  Doing one-legged butt ups (have no idea if that is even the name!) and having someone ask how to do them.  Jake responded..”look at Sheri”.  Look at me?  Seriously?  I was actually doing one of the exercises right?  Double victory!!!

I also feel like I have made progress with the Battle Ropes – no more dead gopher snakes in my hands.  I cannot salsa at the same time like one of the women yet but at least I can make it through a forty second round.  “Yet” being a most likely “never”.  I’m assuming if I have no rhythm without ropes in my hands, I won’t suddenly develop any with them.  It’s true…I’m a middle aged white woman…and my dancing is just what you would expect with that statement.

Some other things that I can tell you about joining a boot camp –

  • I still hate running…but I like it better than TRX pull-ups.  A hierarchy is good – it helps me look forward to running at least two to three times a week.
  • If you are attacked by a killer bug on your yoga mat, someone less freaked out will kill it for you.  While the bug is being killed, everyone will be distracted while you take a break from wall sits…Not that I would know that from personal experience.
  • You still can’t trust a man if he says he will time you doing wall sits if he is distracted.  (and yes…it did make it into the blog again!)
  • It is amazing how everyone is at a different fitness level but still given enough activity to keep them winded and working.  I will say Jake is quite gifted at this.  I’m constantly in awe of some of the women who work out beside me – they truly are my heroes right now as I see them pushing themselves much more than I am disciplined to do.  And yes…they are still encouraging and nice about it rather than elitist and judgmental.  Ladies…I’d buy you a drink…but we can’t have one…so I’ll say cheers to you with my green smoothie in the morning!
  • I remember watching a seizure at one point and being shocked at how long 60 seconds was.  40 seconds of TRX pullups, dirty dogs or leg lifts is just as shocking.  I swear Jake has a defective watch.  I plan to buy him a new one that I have personally calibrated.  Of course, the workout will be done in 15 minutes, however, so I think that will only work once.

I discovered last night that I will be working until 10pm for the next few weeks.   So…..I will still be there in the morning – that I am committed to.  I just won’t be awake.  This may work to my benefit since the workout will be over before I am truly conscious.    If you find me asleep on my mat, please just put a kettle bell in my hand so at least it looks like I’m doing some fancy planks.

Have a great weekend!

 

 

 

 

That’s what I look like from behind?

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Week one of the Boot camp down.  I have survived.  Five more to go…or should I say…52 weeks a year after that.  I’m hooked! I’m hooked in a…man that hurts…when is it going to stop?…has anyone ever dropped that on their head?…kind of way.  I have been up at 4:30am all week and out the door by 5:10am.  I believe I can cut that to up at 4:58am and out the door by 5:10am next week.  No one cares what I look like.  It’s a bit empowering.

Now…I have been “hooked” on things before.  So I feel the need treat myself like I do my students.  Why were you unsuccessful in the class?  What will you change when you come back?  Exactly how do you expect to become a nurse when you don’t put the work in?

Why have I been unsuccessful in the past?  Because I wanted quick results and a quick fix.  If I start on Monday as a size 14, I want to be a size 10 by Wednesday and a size 6 by Friday. Apparently this is not a SMART goal.

smart-goals-221x300While it is Specific, Measurable, Relevant and Time Orientated, it lacks in the Achievable Category.  So let’s hit two questions with one shot – I will be more realistic in my goals and expectations.  My new goal?  To be able to make it up the stairs without hyperventilating.

How do I expect to become fit without putting the work in?  I don’t…anymore.  I am working out with women that have been in boot camp for years.  One is 72.  She is truly amazing.  She can out-plank, out-run, out-lift and out-lunge me.  Probably with her eyes closed…while doing it all on one leg…and without breathing hard.  Very cool.  And very inspiring.   I want to be her.  Not in 20 years…I want to be her now.

Some things I’ve learned this week:

  • Running becomes easier each day.  It will, however, continue to be the bane of your existence.
  • Seeing pictures of the workout taught me the following –
    • My backside is not attractive while doing skaters…or most likely anything else.
    • Battle ropes should look like attacking cobras…not like dead gopher snakes that appeared to be in my hands.  I’m going to become a much better runner if I see Jake with a camera again.
  • Never trust a man that says “I’m timing you while you do wall sits” when he is across the park handing out workout assignments.  Set your watch.
  • Ten pound kettle bells double in weight when being thrust over your head while doing wall sits.  I have been assured that no one has ever dropped them on their head.  Feet, apparently, are fair game.
  • Rain is no reason to pick up your mat and leave – at least according to Jake…However, when you do pick up your mat, remember that it will be the equivalent of a 5′ by 2′ sponge.
  • Toilets are unreasonably low to the floor.  After working out this way for two days, you will actually consider urinating standing up – regardless of your gender.  If you don’t take that option, you will need to plan an additional five minutes to lower yourself into a sitting position.
  • After working out your arms, you will suddenly feel compassion for the T-Rex since you will be unable to fully extend your elbows.  You will become extremely creative in finding ways to keep everything within five inches of your trunk.
  • When someone tells you to get a body scan, be prepared to discover that you are mostly fat…with a little bit of bone for structural support.  It’s on paper.  I’m Jabba the Hutt.  2146_press01-001
  • No one ever died from doing planks..
  • I’m not sure if I completely believe this.

Today is the first day that I am not sore from my neck down.  I have muscles in places that I didn’t know existed.

So thank you to Jake and the amazing women that I was able to work out with this week.  The comradery is very different from what I have experienced in any traditional gym.  Women that are size 0 and double lapping me are still friendly, encouraging and saying “good job” to the newbies.  One of my fellow nurses signed up with me – Brenda and I have both been red-faced and grunting through the work-outs only to be spurred on by someone next to us.  Females at their finest.  I’m proud to be one in this group.

No regular workout for the next two days.  Jake is leading a group on a hike.  I have a hike with some friends at the same time.  I’m thinking of hitting Cowles on Sunday just to prove to myself that I can.  I’ve been up many times before but not since my weight gain.  Let me know if you’d like to go.  Bring a nebulizer.  And a phone.  I may need someone to call Life Flight!